In my experience, it gets less scary the more pregnant you become. Or maybe the same amount of scary is drowned out by wanting to not be pregnant anymore.
If I recall correctly (my oldest is now 15, ack) the most important thing my birth class gave me was permission to trust my intuition and to listen to my body. I'm embarrassed to admit that before age 32 I wasn't so good at that.
In the throes of labor, the baby's heart rate began to drop every time I had a contraction and the docs wanted to screw one of those fetal heart rate monitors into his skull. The doula teaching our class had mentioned that at hospitals there's often tension between protecting the institution from risk, in case anything goes wrong, vs. protecting you and the baby. I had this "sense" that he was fine, really, and this invasive intervention wasn't needed, so I refused it. He was born a few minutes later, all good! But in that raw moment where I had to choose between trusting the doctors and trusting myself, I'm still amazed that I chose to trust myself.
It's so interesting, Edith, that explanation of the difference between pain and suffering. In my day all the pregnant moms put together a "birth plan" for how things would go, and not a single one of us had a birth that went exactly according to plan. To your point I suspect that for some of us the suffering was not from the pain but from not being in control. Surrender and trust,, know that you're lucky to have skilled pros around for when nature doesn't cooperate, and listen to your bod : )
I was so weirdly addicted to watching this one particular birth video when I was pregnant. I would watch it and then cry, thinking about how I would also cry when my baby was eventually born (weirdly I didn’t, not a single poignant drop.) I hope the ball feels good and that in about 2 years baby Z will enjoy playing with it.
Aw, this took me back to birthing class! Our instructor spent a lot of time comparing the stages of labor to miles in the NYC Marathon. Now that I've started running (and have given birth!) I think about her metaphor a lot.
Our birth class was full of male partners whose questions may well have been reduced down to "the baby comes out from where?!" Maybe they were audience plants to make us feel more prepared by comparison :)
In my experience, it gets less scary the more pregnant you become. Or maybe the same amount of scary is drowned out by wanting to not be pregnant anymore.
Ha! This resonates...
If I recall correctly (my oldest is now 15, ack) the most important thing my birth class gave me was permission to trust my intuition and to listen to my body. I'm embarrassed to admit that before age 32 I wasn't so good at that.
In the throes of labor, the baby's heart rate began to drop every time I had a contraction and the docs wanted to screw one of those fetal heart rate monitors into his skull. The doula teaching our class had mentioned that at hospitals there's often tension between protecting the institution from risk, in case anything goes wrong, vs. protecting you and the baby. I had this "sense" that he was fine, really, and this invasive intervention wasn't needed, so I refused it. He was born a few minutes later, all good! But in that raw moment where I had to choose between trusting the doctors and trusting myself, I'm still amazed that I chose to trust myself.
It's so interesting, Edith, that explanation of the difference between pain and suffering. In my day all the pregnant moms put together a "birth plan" for how things would go, and not a single one of us had a birth that went exactly according to plan. To your point I suspect that for some of us the suffering was not from the pain but from not being in control. Surrender and trust,, know that you're lucky to have skilled pros around for when nature doesn't cooperate, and listen to your bod : )
I love this. Thank you, Jenny.
I was so weirdly addicted to watching this one particular birth video when I was pregnant. I would watch it and then cry, thinking about how I would also cry when my baby was eventually born (weirdly I didn’t, not a single poignant drop.) I hope the ball feels good and that in about 2 years baby Z will enjoy playing with it.
That is a great point ... baby Z better love this ball! I feel like it will knock her over, but in a fun way
Aw, this took me back to birthing class! Our instructor spent a lot of time comparing the stages of labor to miles in the NYC Marathon. Now that I've started running (and have given birth!) I think about her metaphor a lot.
I want to know what you think! Just quick run a marathon and report back
Our birth class was full of male partners whose questions may well have been reduced down to "the baby comes out from where?!" Maybe they were audience plants to make us feel more prepared by comparison :)
Ha!!
Well, now I'm super excited to see baby's first drawn portrait!
It's gonna be exquisite!!