FWIW your anxiety sounds pretty par for the course. Why wouldn't it be totally nerve-wracking to be responsible for the life of another human, after all? Isn't that the most existential angst of all?
Here's something I wish someone had told me when I brought my first baby home: We've been indoctrinated to believe that motherhood should come "naturally," and for many of us there's absolutely nothing natural about it. So if you had some magical motherhood standard you were holding yourself to, just ... let it go. Have compassion for the fact that you're learning how to do this IRL, and feeling anxious is a sign that you're a competent, loving person who wants to do it well. Caring for another human is learned behavior and trained instincts, and you are learning and training! You got this!
FWIW your anxiety sounds pretty par for the course. Why wouldn't it be totally nerve-wracking to be responsible for the life of another human, after all? Isn't that the most existential angst of all?
Here's something I wish someone had told me when I brought my first baby home: We've been indoctrinated to believe that motherhood should come "naturally," and for many of us there's absolutely nothing natural about it. So if you had some magical motherhood standard you were holding yourself to, just ... let it go. Have compassion for the fact that you're learning how to do this IRL, and feeling anxious is a sign that you're a competent, loving person who wants to do it well. Caring for another human is learned behavior and trained instincts, and you are learning and training! You got this!
Having a baby will do this to you. You're freaking out because you care! But the panic will subside in time. <3